sunnuntai 11. joulukuuta 2016

@nieuwemarlean 😂😂😂😂😼😸😸Happy Sunday dear friend🌾🌷🌷🌾🍀🍁

kaikila sama unelma siis uka on käyttänyt kaikki mun tarrapakettikortit looppuiko muka viime vuanna tuska Michael Skye via 16 Dec (3 days ago) to me I feel sadness right now. The kind that cuts deep. I know if I don't let myself feel it, it makes a hole that I'll try to fill with something other than what I really need. I saw on Facebook the other day, a photo of many of my family gathered together. I haven't seen some of them in years. I've been gone--far gone--for most of the last seven. The fears and frustrations that would be difficult for most people on the road are nothing to me. I know what it's like to be homeless. I know how to survive. I'm resourceful and creative as fuck. There will always be food to eat. Always a place to lay my head. The hardest thing for me about being on the road for so long are those times when I really want to give my love--but I have nobody to love. No one to really give my love to in a really big way. For years that was my brothers and sisters, after my parent's divorce. They were my people to love. Starting a family seemed insane when my own family was so torn apart. We were raised to believe families are for all eternity. And I fought for them as if that's what was at stake. That's where my life's work came from. For years I gave my love huge primarily through my iStands, a structure that allowed me to give my love as big as I gave to my brothers and sisters. Then I gave my love through the Honor Window work one-on-one with individuals facing divorce, family crisis or it's aftermath. Then when I left the US, it was because it was time to care for myself. To stop sacrificing for others, for humanity and for some grand future. And just attend to me. My heart. My joy. My happiness. I remember those years as a teenage boy as my parents fought, I often dreamt and even planned of running away. Disappearing to some far off island. Maybe they'll miss me, maybe they'll love me then --when I'm gone. At school during lunch, I'd sit alone--or avoid the cafeteria altogether. Better to be alone. But that boy just wanted to belong. Just wanted to be loved. Now, thousands of miles from family, it feels somewhat the same. But it's different. I know right now there are countless men who feel as completely alone right now as I felt all those years ago, and as I've felt sometimes since. Alone in a world that makes zero sense to their heart. About the same amount of sense that public prisons--I mean schools--made to me. I've been dreaming for these years that I've been traveling, of inviting men--just men--to join me out here in foreign lands. For so many reasons. There's deep relief and healing available out here. Out here away from isolation you may feel back "home." Out here where you can be free of all the pressures, demands and expectations, long enough to feel again. To let your heart speak to you. Sometimes it's just time for a man to get away. And at key times in my life, there were men who showed up and supported me in getting the fuck away, when it's what I most needed. So, I'm just paying it forward. And calling to those men who are needing exactly that. Underneath my sadness right now is my desire to love, my desire to give. And I'm just gonna sit here and let Norah Jones sing to me, and look into her brown eyes (even if just through a laptop screen) as I feel it all. And after these men's journeys are underway in 2017, and after the books I've been working on are finally out, then I'm going to return to my iStands, my Honor Window work, and more time with my family. But I'm staying gone til then. And I'll let my sadness, my desire to give my love, move me to see it through. Until the end. Sending you and wishing you love, joy and peace through the holidays and beyond!

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